Cinnamon Roll Cake

I made Cinnamon Roll Cake for our Real and Relevant Ladies Group on Saturday morning.  Those who were there asked me to post the recipe, so here it is!  Enjoy!  

Cinnamon Roll Cake

Cake:
3 c. flour
1/4 tsp.salt
1 c. sugar
4 tsp. baking powder
1 1/2 c. milk
2 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
1/2 c. butter, melted

Topping:
1 c. butter, softened
1 c. brown sugar
2 Tbsp. flour
1 Tbsp. cinnamon

Mix everything together except for the butter. Slowly stir in the melted butter and pour into a greased 9x13 pan. For the topping, mix all the ingredients together until well combined. Drop evenly over the batter and swirl with a knife. Bake at 350 for 28-32 minutes.

Glaze:
2 c. powdered sugar
5 Tbsp. milk
1 tsp. vanilla


While warm drizzle the glaze over the cake.

I found the recipe here.  http://cookinupnorth.blogspot.com/2011/07/cinnamon-roll-cake.html

Contented Discontentment

Contented Discontentment!  I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but that's where I am right now!  Let me explain!

For those of you who know me, you know that I have always been insecure!  Over the last few years, I have really struggled with not being content in who I am!  I have looked around me at others and have struggled with wishing I could have their spiritual gifts, or be used the way God is using them, or have the experiences that they are having!  I have felt not good enough or worthy of being used!  I have allowed these lies and feelings of discontentment to spiral until I end up feeling totally discouraged and all alone in my lowest times!

Well, this past winter I had one of those periods of time!  I looked at those around me and I felt like I was the only one not being used!  I felt like we were where we were supposed to be but yet I felt like God wasn't using me in any way!  I quite honestly felt left out!  Well, after sharing and praying with a dear friend, I was able to move past those feelings and allow God to begin to do a new work in me.  Over the past few months he's been bringing me to a place of being willing to wait on Him.  It's been a slow process since I tend to take a while to really let things penetrate!  I've gone through this in past years and I seem to get it for awhile, but apparently it hasn't been firmly rooted because then something else happens and I'm right back where I was.

Well, the work that God has been doing over the past few months was solidified at a conference I was at last week!  God cemented the things that He's been doing in my heart!  As I watched ladies around me who are at different places in their walk than I am who have different giftings than I do, there was no discontentment there was simply joy and peace!  Excitement for what God was doing in their life and anticipation and excitement for what He is doing in mine!  Just because God isn't using me the same way He's using them doesn't make them better than me, just different!  We each have a different calling!

He also showed me that even when we think we aren't being used we truly are!  We don't always know the impact of what we say and do!  I was given the gift of being able to get a glimpse of some of that!  God can take the smallest thing we say or do if done in obedience to Him and make it huge!  He's an amazing God!

I had another break through last night.  As I was getting ready for bed I was just praising God for all that He is doing and who He is!  Before I realized it the words "I praise you for who I am" came out of my mouth.  I was quite shocked that I said them!  My first response was I mean I praise you for who you are.  And then I felt like the Lord said, No you got it right the first time and I stopped and I thought, you know I do praise you for who I am!  This is honestly the first time in my life that I think I could truly say this!  I think I am actually beginning to like me!  I don't think I truly ever did before!  Yes, I know there are lots of things about me that need to change and that I need to allow God to transform, but for the first time I can actually say I like who God has created me to be and the purposes that He has for me!  For me that is a huge breakthrough!

I'll be honest I think I am at the best place I have ever been in my life!  No matter what is going on around me or what challenges I may come against, I am at the most secure and content place I have ever been!  I am finally moving who I know I am from my head to my heart!  I've been able for a long time to recite to you who I am in Christ and KNOW that it is true, but never completely felt it!  It's finally sinking down into my heart and taking root!  Is it sad that it has taken me this many years to get it?

So, I am contentedly discontent!  I am finally content in who I am in Christ!  However much or little He has for me at any given moment!  No matter how long I have to wait to see His promises unfold!  But, at the same time I don't ever want to be content in where I am in my relationship with Him!  I am hungry for more!  I want to always be hungry for more!  Desperate for more of Him!

Confessions From a Mother's Heart

Well, I'm going to be honest, this past week has really beat me up!  I have been feeling like a total failure as a mother!  My kids' behavior has definitely been less than desirable!  I feel like I have completely lost all control of them!  It doesn't matter what I say or do, it doesn't seem to work!  They have been fighting with one another!  They have been disrespectful to me!  They have been very mouthy with one another!  There has been lying!  And, most mornings, this has all been happening by 9:30 in the morning and they're not getting up till 8:00!  I've been ready to pull my hair out!  I have blown it on more than one occasion and have lost it with them.  I have handled it the right way and it doesn't seem to have any better results!  No matter how I handle it, according to them I hate them and I'm just being mean!  I don't know what to do any more!

Well, as I was praying this morning about the kids, about me and how we are getting along with one another, I felt the Lord impress two words on my heart.  CALM and CONSISTENCY!  Wow!  Simple, but yet.......   For those of you who know me well, you know that these two things should be very easy for me because I always remain calm, cool, and collected........  NOT!  And, I am always a very consistent person!  Well, I do try to be, but I struggle a lot with this!  So, I know that these are two areas I need to work on and it will only come with the Lord's strength!  I do feel I've come a long way in these areas over the past year, but still have so far to go!  I am such a work in progress!

Then as I continued to pray the Lord spoke something so clearly to me that was such a light bulb moment!  "Realize who you are battling!  You are not battling your children, you are battling the enemy for your children!"  WOW!  WOW!  WOW!  All this week, I have felt like I have been in a battle with my children, but I should not be, I should be battling for them!  What does that look like!  Well, I am going to be praying a lot about that!  But, I do know that's one way it looks!  On my knees praying!  That is where the major part of this battle will be fought!  I know that I have no power to change my children, but I do have the power through Christ to claim them and fight the enemy for them!  I have the power to not allow the enemy to use my weaknesses to be a poor example to them in that moment when they need a positive example most!

I know that this is going to be a constant struggle and up hill battle!  But I am so glad for the reminder that I am not in a battle against my children, but we are in a battle together against the enemy and I need to show them how to fight!  Every one of them has told me that they don't want to behave the way they do when they act like that but that it's hard not to give in to the anger, or the temptation to lie, or whatever might be tempting them at that moment!  So, I know that they desire to change!  I need to walk with them instead of fighting against them!  Pray for me that I can do that!  I'll be honest, I feel like I've been a little vulnerable about myself and about my children in this post, but really felt I was to post it!  Hope none of you will think less of me or my children for my honesty, this is just where we are at at this moment!  I'm in a place of humility and brokenness before God trusting he is going to lead!